moms and babies
Carl Rogers coined the phrase, “UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD” which has become synonymous with what children need in order to grow to their full potential as healthy human beings.
An environment that genuinely and openly:
SEES the good in them,
LISTENS to them with empathy and
ACCEPTS them unconditionally.
We all need that.
But especially in infancy, when one is helplessly dependent on parents or caregivers, a child will cling to them for safety and security, and adjust his behavior to assure he doesn’t lose them.
However if it feels unsafe to be who he really is, an infant may unconsciously want to ‘stuff’ that part of himself in order to get along. This can cause all kinds of emotional disconnects later in life, from angry outbursts, panic, fear, self loathing, addictions, an inability to feel one’s own needs or intuition, and more.
This is why I said in one of my previous articles, “You Can’t Spoil A Baby”.
Unconditional love does NOT mean you love everything they DO however, and as kids grow past infancy, they also need discipline and guidance to prepare them for life’s challenges.
Children who are not disciplined do not feel loved. So…
LOVE your child as though you won’t have him tomorrow. . .
And TEACH your child as though he won’t have YOU tomorrow.
When you tie a growing plant to a stake to protect it from outside forces that would topple it over, you are not being cruel. Discipline is that stake.
As much as your kids are worth loving, YOU are TOO. We will all make mistakes along the way, but if you are doing your best, that’s all you can do.
So LOVE YOURSELF, OK?
Ruth Elliott-Hilsdon, Founder, EDU DESIGNS
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At seven years old, I wanted to help people.
I imagined that “helping people” meant becoming a doctor.
Then one day, I heard some kids swearing and yelling at each other on the street. I asked my mom, “Why do they act that way?”
She said, “It’s probably because that’s what they hear at home.“
As she shared how the experiences we have as children shape our character, I realized many people walking around need more than just physical help. They need work on their emotional health, too.
I considered maybe I should become a Psychologist, instead of a doctor.
Then I got the idea: If they would just start them out right in the FIRST place, they wouldn’t need fixing up!
To my young mind, being a good mother became the best way to change the world for the better.
At seven years old, dolls were not enough. I wanted a REAL baby to care for. But how was I to get one? I was too little to have one myself.
Gazing up at the sky that night, a shooting star raced across the sky. This was my big chance! I closed my eyes and wished for a baby brother.
A few months later, I noticed my mother’s tummy looking a little bigger, so I asked her, “Mom, are you getting fat?”
And she said, sadly, “No – I’m afraid I might be pregnant”.
“YAY!” I shouted, “A baby!”
But she didn’t smile, and added, “Well… Your father isn’t very happy about it. He wants me to get an abortion.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“That’s where they take the baby out.”
Horrified, I cried, “NO, Momma, NO! Don’t DO that! I’ll help you take care of the baby! I’ll change diapers – I’ll wake up in the middle of the night – ANYTHING – Just don’t take the baby away!“
After a few minutes of me pleading, she finally assured me that she wouldn’t get rid of the baby. She told me that though she wanted to please my Poppa, it was illegal, [back in 1956] and she didn’t want to do anything against the law.
Then, on the verge of tears, she blurted out, that my father hadn’t wanted me, or my sister, EITHER – because the hospital bill would be $350 – and that was a lot of money back then.
Wait a minute…
MY DAD WANTED ME TO BE AN ABORTION, TOO?
Those words fell like a knife deep into my heart. It was a terrible thing to tell a child, but my mom must have been in great distress to say it.
I adored my father – and when he’d hug me, it felt like heaven in his arms. He’d never never actually acted as though he’d wished we hadn’t been born – but the thought of it sent my world reeling.
But from that moment on, I resolved to never need anything from him, or to be a burden to anyone. After all, I reasoned… people could kill you if they didn’t want you around, so I’d better be useful. I became the ‘always ready to help’ kind of kid, figuring if I was indispensable, they wouldn’t want to get rid of me.
And even after I grew up, if Poppa would ask if I needed anything, I would thank him – but politely refuse, because deep down inside, I still felt I would be a burden if I accepted.
My twig had been bent.
When my little brother was born, I kept my promise and did all I could to help my mother – by feeding, cleaning and watching him – even when I was tired, or wanted to do something else.
I’d tell myself, “Real mothers have to do this kind of stuff, so I’d better get used to it.”
I determined to make it my job to teach my little brother everything I knew, though I was only a kid myself. And that little boy soaked it up! He became SUPER SMART! He was always inventing things and grew up to become an engineer – like my dad.
PLUS – my brother became closer to my father than ANY of the other kids in the family.
My dad grew up, too, and finally realized his kids were some of the best things that ever happened to him.
And ME? I went on to be an artist, like my mom. And a mother – of seven children. After all, I’d had lots of practice already!
It was a long road to where I could finally ask for help from others, though.
It was when my kids came along that I learned how precious I was as a baby – and worth all the work.
Seeing how much I loved them made me realize I was worth loving.
I learned that there is always help available if you need it.
All you have to do is SEEK, ASK and KNOCK.
The answers are there when you need them.
The Present is the only way to the Future.
And what a GIFT it IS.
By the way. . .
Make sure you take advantage of all the free resources I have available on GoMommyGO®:
2 – FREE Illustrated Behavior charts on GoMommyGO (the 8 1/2 X 11 charts you download, customize and print up yourself)
The charts above are FREE, but if you’d like to support my work please feel free to make a donation. If you do, you can download 100 BEHAVIOR CARDS that help you get Organized! I wish I’d had these cards when MY kids were little! I didn’t have a printer back then, and had to draw each one by hand.
CAN YOU SPOIL A BABY?
Before you get worried wondering, the quick answer is:
“NO”. You CAN’T spoil a baby.
There are many reasons.
Babies need consistent Loving Attention. Not only for physical survival but for the emotional security and intellectual development to build a strong foundation for the rest of their lives.
BEING A BABY CAN BE VERY STRESSFUL
I remember. Here’s one of my memories of infancy at around a month old:
In a dimly lit room, lying on my stomach in my crib, I awoke to sounds of people laughing in the other room. I wanted to go out and enjoy the fun, but I couldn’t get up. Just lifting my head took a huge effort, so I called out for someone to come and get me. Sadly, no one heard me. I cried out over and over, to no avail until I became so exhausted I fell asleep again. I awoke later as my Mama was coming into the room. She picked me up and smiled. I was exhilarated and thought, ‘Finally! Now I’ll get to see all the people and find out what made them laugh!’ But when we got to the other room all the people were gone! I was disappointed. Funny how a baby can be aware of more than we realize!
Remembering how it felt to be a baby made it easier to identify with my children’s needs when I became a mother. Especially their need to be seen, heard and known.
I found scientific affirmation of my impressions from Dr. Gabor Mate. He calls the instinctive hunger to be SEEN, HEARD and KNOWN the need for ‘Attunement’.
If we are ‘Attuned to’ as infants, we will have greater inner security, an all-important anchor to keep us steady through hard times, and an increased ability to comfort others. Attunement can prevent ADHD in children as well as Anxiety in adults. 
Carl Rogers calls it, “Unconditional positive regard”, wanting the best for our offspring from the deepest part of ourselves.
That kind of love can never ‘spoil’ anyone.
The joy on this baby’s face demonstrates the happiness and emotional security kids can experience when they have good communication and feel ‘attuned to’ by their moms.
(Thank you to my friend Candi Alvarez Matz for allowing me to share this lovely photo.)
Dr. Claudia M. Gold, best known for her work promoting children’s mental health, writes, “the science of early childhood tells us that the brain grows in relationships.“
“When a parent gazes into her baby’s eyes, she literally promotes the growth of her baby’s brain, helping it to be wired for a secure sense of self…” 
“The brain makes millions of synaptic connections every minute. It is in infancy that the parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation have the most rapid development.” 
Whoever is taking care of the baby should give that baby everything it needs. In others words, feel free to ‘spoil’ your baby.
When it feels loved and wanted, given “Unconditional Positive Regard”, the person that emerges from that child will succeed in relationships through all of it’s life.
And long before, you, the caregiver, might even find yourself smiling like the mom in the picture above.
If not the entire world, then certainly the world of that child.
Wishing you ‘unconditional positive regard!’
 Attachment Theory: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
One of my kids said one day, “Mom, how come you never yell at the baby?”
Before I could answer, my oldest girl piped in, “That’s easy. When babies are little you need to be nice to them, so when you yell at them when they’re older, they know you still love them!”
At first I laughed, and then it made me stop and think. Had I been yelling, then?
I MOONLIGHT – AS A MOM
All I ever dreamed about was being a mom, changing the world one kid at a time through love and understanding. But after the first two kids, financial pressure forced me out to earn a living. I eventually found a job in animation.
It was fun drawing Scooby Doo and the Smurfs. However, my new career was taking a huge chunk of time away from my relationship with the kids and my duties at home. I cried every day I had to leave them at my mother-in-law’s. I was giving my ‘all’ to someone else’s celluloid dreams, while my original aspirations of child-rearing got squeezed into a corner.
SHOVELING MUD UPHILL
By the time I was a mother of four, just getting out the door in the morning was a big challenge. But after a full day’s work at the office, I’d come home to the other full-time job of meeting the children’s needs. Fatigue gave way to dread as the never-ending cycle of mealtimes, dishes and laundry piled up before me.
“How do OTHER mothers DO it?”, I agonized.
DON’T DO THIS!
One day I finally exploded at the kids and then ran into the bathroom, horrified at myself, “I USED to be such a NICE person!”
In my desperation, I knew I had to figure out a way to organize myself.
Afterwards, I apologized to the kids. “You don’t like it when mommy yells, do you?” They all shook their heads.
“I don’t like it either. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to stop yelling. But I’m gonna need a little help from you guys.”
GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW
My husband, the kids, and I had our first family meeting that night. We brainstormed, we discussed our goals, what we all wanted as a family (peace, no yelling, sharing chores, etc) and how we should be treating each other. We agreed on a set of rules for good behavior.
This became our family ‘Constitution’, which was taped to the wall for all to see. Our Constitution not only expressed the crucial needs we had as parents, but it included important concerns the kids themselves came up with. Chores were one thing. Gripes that needed to be aired were another. “Don’t stick your tongue out at people”; “Don’t kick each other”; etc, were suggested by the kids themselves.
We continued adding to and refining our constitution with each weekly meeting. As time went by, the additions taped to the wall were becoming too numerous. We eventually boiled good behavior down to one phrase, “TREAT OTHER PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”. This turns out to be a thought even young children can appreciate.
LET THE CHART BE YOUR GUIDE
When it came to chores, we wrote them all down on pieces of paper and put them in a hat. We took turns drawing them out one at a time (even me) till all the chores were handed out. If a child got a chore that was too hard for him, we exchanged it with someone else’s, until each person had a chore or two they could actually handle.
For instance: 4 year old Mike was too little to vacuum, but he was able to pick up around the house. Johnny, who was 6, could then do the vacuuming.
I created a chart for each child showing which task they had, with spaces to mark when it was completed. It too was taped to the wall. Time proved that some fine tuning was needed. We’d assess our progress at our weekly meetings, and switch or add chores as needed. And the charts would be updated.
As an incentive, at the end of the week we would all go to the 99 cent store or the Dollar Tree and they’d each get to pick out ONE thing. Any thing they wanted! No one would get ‘paid’ unless they had done their ‘jobs’. For me this method was enormously helpful. It was always necessary to be the CEO, but I was now able to stay cool, calm and collected and simply remind each kid of what they had agreed to do.
I’d say “Oh, I see you left your shoes on the floor. You want your treat this weekend, right? Go put them away so I can give you your good mark!” Then I’d smile. Reminding them was enough. (At least until they became teenagers.) 😉
NO YELLING NEEDED
The reason I invented the Good Behavior Charts on GoMommyGO® in the first place was to keep myself under control, along with the kids. It became a guideline to follow, a system that SHOWED the kids what I needed from them in a way THEY could understand and remember. They learned what it was to feel needed and important, while I got the help I needed so I could pay attention to what I really wanted: A good relationship with the kids.
GET YOUR OWN PLAN:
After the kids grew up I put my charts on the web so every parent can use them too.
Here’s how to get the charts you can customize from 90 different images. My gift to you.
My next article will have secrets to improve your relationships.
HUMAN TOUCH KEY TO MENTAL HEALTH
At 8 years old, I was moping around the house.
“Mom – I’m homesick. But I’m at HOME. How can that be?”
I can’t recall her words, but whatever she said didn’t satisfy me.
There was an aching in my heart that needed a human touch.
I think all I needed was a hug.
I don’t know why I didn’t just come out and ask her for one. Somehow I thought I had to be strong, that I’d be laughed at if I admitted I needed anything. I guess we were never a touchy-feely kind of family.
Later on, in my 20’s – and before I had children of my own – I visited my husband’s mother while she babysat a 10 month old baby boy whose parents both worked during the day. He looked pretty sad.
I felt bad for the little guy, so when my mother-in-law went into the kitchen, I picked him up in my arms and began cooing and playing with him and finally got a smile. What fun we were having!
As soon as she came back, though, she scolded me,
“OH! NO! You’re not supposed to pick him up!”
Still holding him I recall saying,
“What? WHY? Does he have cooties?”
“No” she said, “But his parents left strict instructions NOT to pick him up. They don’t want him to become needy – the kind of baby you have to pick up all the time.”
“That’s a CROCK!”, I protested.
“Yeah, but I have to follow their orders. It’s their kid.” she retorted.
Since she was ‘In Charge’, I put him down, and as he looked straight at me, his smile went away.
The poor little boy was being denied the human touch he needed.
I went home and cried for him that day.
Once in a while I think about that boy and wonder how he is now, 40 years later.
In her article, Touching Empathy, psychologist Maia Szalavitz says,
“… touch is even more vital… babies who are not held and nuzzled and hugged enough will literally stop growing and-if the situation lasts long enough, even if they are receiving proper nutrition – [may] die…”
Researchers from the Canadian Community Health Survey found that people who get hugs regularly are more likely to report better mental health.
According to JOSH RICHARDSON there are 9 reasons hugs improve our health:
“Hugging helps the immune system, cures depression, reduces stress and induces sleep. It’s invigorating, rejuvenating and has no unpleasant side effects. It is all natural, organic, naturally sweet, no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients and 100 percent wholesome. There are no batteries to wear out, no periodic check-ups, low energy consumption, high energy yield, inflation proof, nonfattening, no monthly payments, theft-proof, nontaxable, nonpolluting and, of course, fully returnable. Hugging is practically perfect, with the only exception that it can’t recreate the wheel.”…more
According to Claudia Gold, MD, our ability for Emotional Self regulation is affected by the mother-child relationship from birth: The attunement of the mother to her infant helps develop emotional self-regulation.
“…research has shown that healthy wiring of a baby’s brain depends on attuned responses of caregivers. These responses can consist not only of words, but also looks, touch, sound of voice, and facial expressions.”
This shows the vital need for Human Touch in infants, but how many hugs do YOU need per day?
Psychotherapist Virginia Satir said,
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
Whether that number has been proven scientifically yet or not, a great body of scientific evidence exists that clearly shows the importance of hugs and physical contact to emotional and mental well-being.
I knew it all along.
Personally, I’ll take all the hugs that I can get!
I thought you’d appreciate these references that corroborate my own findings.
By the way – EDU DESIGNS wants to be a Great Non-Profit! We would like to earn Great Non-Profit’s 2014 Badge to display on our website. And you can help.
Please go to the Great Non-Profit website:http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/edu-designs
See what others have to say about us. Then post a few words about why EDU DESIGNS is a Great Non-Profit.
It will only take a minute, but it will mean a lot to us.
Sending an electronic hug your way,
PS – Get a free download of my Art Textbook for kids with any donation through this link!
You didn’t want a life of loneliness?
Figured that having children would end that?
Congratulations! Now LAUNDRY is your constant companion!
My Mom used to tell me, “Everything comes out in the wash…” .
Since I was eight years old my plan was: To raise some wonderful kids and leave the world a better place than I found it…
Now – MY place was a wreck and so was I…
So while shoveling the mud uphill every day, I reminded myself of what every older mom I’d ever met had shared with me: “Enjoy your kids while they are little – the housework will still be there long after they are gone!”
I read once, “No success in the world can compensate for failure at home…”
My grown daughter, Lisa, aptly said: “Success is what we all strive for in life. But the truth is, that behind every success sits a pile of failures.”
…And a pile of laundry, I say!
Thank Goodness we somehow survive our parents’ imperfect parenting, and our children survive ours – all living proof of Guardian Angels.
Nobody is Perfect…
BUT – Can we be ‘Good Enough’?
If you are doing your best, that probably IS the best you CAN do – but there is always more to learn.
Now that I have survived, I can see mistakes to avoid, and identified things that DID work – not to make me a millionaire – but to provide a life of fewer regrets.
The way I see it, after unconditional love for your children, these three things are essential to being a ‘Good Enough’ Parent:
Paying attention to someone else means: NOT MINDING BEING INTERRUPTED.
Let’s FACE it – it’s GOING to happen, and a LOT – so at first you might have to pretend you don’t mind…
Studies show that children need both attunement and eye contact from a parent or caregiver to develop a sense of security and a capacity for proper emotional self regulation as they grow. That means undistracted parenting.
According to Dr. Claudia Gold:
“When a parent gazes into her baby’s eyes, she literally promotes the growth of her baby’s brain, helping it to be wired for a secure sense of self. The MPC (The medial prefrontal cortex) has been referred to as the “observing brain.” It is where our sense of self lies. When a mother looks at a baby in a way that communicates with him, not with words but with feelings, “I understand you,” he begins to recognize himself, both physically and psychologically. This mutual gaze, literally and figuratively being “seen,” actually facilitates the development of the baby’s brain. As the MPC matures in this kind of secure loving relationship, the brain is wired in a way that will serve him well for the rest of his life. He will be able to think clearly and to regulate feelings in the face of stressful experiences.”
Dr.Gabor Mate says that when a child does not feel someone is watching, they become anxious and can be at an increased risk for ADHD. References: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TdVlgh6yK_A
I learned to force myself to stop, smell the roses… and hold my nose while changing the next dirty diaper, again and again… and look at it as an opportunity to communicate caring and love with this little one in front of me.
Eventually a lot more changed besides the diapers.
In the space of 7 kids and decades of mothering duties, the good news was that I DID get used to it and even began enjoying it without pretending.
I guess what Kurt Vonnegut said is true:
#2 – ENERGY
Kids are wonderful when we have the energy to keep up with them.
We get to re-experience life and delight in each new discovery along with them.
But keeping that energy up can be a difficult thing, when there is so much to get done… (did someone say, “laundry”?)
My son actually said, “DAD, MOM HAD A NERVOUS WRECK!” when the father of my seven children came through the door one day.
I had thought it was possible to “get everything done”. Sadly, I was mistaken.
So what was an ‘idealistic, try-to-get-too-much-done mother’ like myself supposed to do?
I absolutely HATE being tired, and can’t imagine anyone liking it.
After research and experience, I learned the things that gave me more energy, and what things made me tired and sad. Here are a few things that worked for me:
A- GET MORE SLEEP…
HA! Not surprising, it was the hardest thing for me to do – Because so many things needed to get done, I felt those things wouldn’t ‘LET ME’ get the sleep I needed. But it wasn’t true. I was the one who wouldn’t let me.
Give yourself permission to get what you need, and lower your expectations of what you can get done in a day.
Adequate Protein – A MUST to keep up your endurance.
DRINK More WATER! It prevents stress and constipation. Constipation is the thief of Health.
Dr. F. Batmanghelidj, said, “You’re not sick; you’re thirsty. Don’t treat thirst with medication.” http://www.watercure.com/index.html
TAKE VITAMINS! They really help.
There are many problems a healthy diet will cure that aren’t addressed by most doctors. I found Brenda Watson has a lot to say about it. http://www.brendawatson.com/
C- AVOID Energy Vampires:
- Sugar makes you tired, after the first rush is over.
- Avoid Negative people and Perfectionism
- Avoid too much TV or Computer time…
#3 – PREPARATION
From 0-3 years the brain of a child grows at skyrocketing speed, as they make new connections and learn new things. They ‘outsmart’ us regularly! All this nonstop growth can be exhausting, unless you PLAN for it.
One day I thought, “Why are the TERRIBLE TWOS so terrible? Because:You keep THEM from doing what THEY want to do, and they keep YOU from doing what YOU want to do!”
Before I had children of my own, one day I saw an overweight grandmother waiting for someone to arrive at an office. She was watching a sprightly 2 year old girl. The old woman just wanted to sit there, and have the little girl do the same. Barely turning to look at her, she barked out orders to the toddler, “SIT! Come BACK HERE! DON’T touch that!”
The little girl’s eyes darted back and forth, like a squirrel looking for a chance to escape and run. I felt the same way. Since we were both obliged to stay there for a bit, I sensed emergency measures were needed. Grabbing a magazine on a nearby table, I opened it up to a photo of a person’s head. I quickly pulled out a small rectangular mirror from my purse, and placed the long side of the mirror down the center of their face. I showed the little girl how she could create funny distorted faces in the reflected image, by moving it back and forth. Soon we were laughing and making the people ‘talk’ in the magazine! Keeping her occupied was a joy, until the grandma had to leave with her. By then, the little girl wanted to stay with me.
I wondered how the girl’s experience would have been if I had not been there to engage her with something interesting to think about.
After that, I resolved to always have something on hand to entertain a child with: A magic trick, paper and pen, or just a good story to make the time go by pleasantly, instead of painfully.
TIP: ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING ON HAND TO DISTRACT/OCCUPY or ENTERTAIN your CHILD!
Did I already mention that no one is perfect? With one exception. BEFORE we have kids we THINK we know it all. After we have kids we are humbled to find out how little we know.
By the time I had 4 children between the ages of 2-9, I found myself yelling at the kids. What happened? Ashamed of myself, I ran into the bathroom and cried,
“I USED to be such a NICE PERSON!”
I returned to the kids and apologized – that it wasn’t their fault – I loved them, but I was just really tired and needed their help.
I asked them, “Do you like it when I yell?”
Their answer was, “No.”
I told them “I don’t either.”
Then and there we decided we needed a system to organize tasks. We had our first family meeting of minds that night. I agreed I wouldn’t yell and they agreed to help. We wrote down all the chores on small pieces of paper and drew them out of a hat. When someone thought they couldn’t do the job they had picked out, we traded chores, until everyone felt confident he had one he could handle. That night I made our first chart with the chores we had settled upon, with pictures instead of words, since some of the kids couldn’t read yet. At the end of the week we would all go to the dollar store, and they would each be allowed to pick out one thing – anything they wanted! Though it was usually candy (Since I didn’t allow them ANY candy the rest of the week), once in a while they’d pick out a toy or some other treasure that appealed to them.
That’s how my personal system of illustrated charts began. It worked so well, I kept thinking, “Why doesn’t someone do this for mom’s who can’t draw?” After 27 years in the animation industry, I concluded that that someone should be me.
You can take my charts and customize them to your needs.
Download them here: http://www.gomommygo.com/thankdontspank.html
What makes us YELL?
Why do we get angry?
Anger is a secondary emotion.
Another feeling comes before it: Some type of Pain.
Frustration. Exhaustion. Being TIRED can lead to being Angry…
When a car runs out of gas it has nothing in the tank but fumes to run on. So we get frustrated when we can no longer handle it.
Think about the mechanics of what goes on when you have spent all your energy: As soon as you have nothing left to give, everything inside of you wants to STOP.
But, if you are not allowed to stop, it just takes one more demand upon you, and the knee-jerk reaction is to ‘fume’, explode, and Voila – Instant energy.
However it’s not the kind of energy you want…
ANTIDOTE: REFILL BEFORE you run out of Gas!
You may have started out with a full pitcher of ‘Love Juice’ in the morning to give out to everyone, but after pouring it out all day, you need to refill your pitcher, too!
Before you begin ‘fuming’, STOP!
Get a glass of water, cup of tea or coffee, and run into a quiet place – the bathroom, bedroom or just close your eyes for a moment – to call out for help – BEFORE you need it.
For myself, usually I would dash to the bathroom and pray, “HELP, GOD! I can’t make it without you!”, and God and I came to be good friends.
Every little bit – not only helps – it’s ESSENTIAL.
Think of it this way:
You are the HOSE, not the water. Let it flow.
Tomorrow is another day…
There’s so much more to share, but it will have to wait until another time.
For now – I wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day!
Though money has its place, aren’t Peace and True Happiness the most important values to teach our kids?
I wrote this little poem recently, thinking of the conflict between ‘Getting what you want’ and ‘True’ satisfaction:
Finding Treasure, © Ruth Elliott, 2013
Ignorance, when fueled by desire,
Scrambles to fight, following a Liar…
And after all the getting’s done,
with no peace or justice won,
joys vanish in the present,
while seeking what was ‘pleasant’.
Greed stomps on others to get its winnings,
and only piles up further sinnings.
Though the truth is plainly told,
(that all that glitters is not gold),
It blinds to all the pain and rue,
and never ceases hurting you.
Forgetting all this earthly stuff
(and along with getting, had enough),
to him who holds the key to heaven
True Treasure will at last be given.
Those we know who have it still,
will never lose it, never will!
Please make the best of what you have TODAY, especially those (human) treasures that are asking you to pay attention to them!
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Here’s wishing YOU the BEST, EVERYDAY…
 Check out this talk by Dr. Gabor Mate: