Being connected made the difference.
When I was a child my mom and I would walk a long way to the grocery store. It was hard to keep up unless she would hold my hand. When she did hold my hand, somehow her energy would be transmitted to me, and it was easier to go the distance.
Connectedness is needed by adults as well as children. In Claudia Gold’s excellent post, she reveals how
“Connectedness . . . protects us against the harmful effects of stress.”
When I had kids of my own, there were days when the thought of cleaning the house weighed on me like a sack of bricks. But if I knew that someone I liked was coming over, the work breezed by. It was the anticipation of a supportive friend that made the work easier to accomplish – even fun.
The burden we bear alone is twice as hard to carry.
And we don’t have to carry it alone.
If you’re someone who has failed at connecting with others, here are some things you can do. Develop the capacity for empathy, become a flexible thinker, learn to regulate your emotions and practice resilience.
To learn this you will need to find someone who will listen and respond. Some things are more ‘caught than taught’.
A good relationship requires Connectedness.
You throw the ball to me. I throw it back.
And yet in communication, sometimes we forget to ‘catch the ball’, much less ‘throw it back’!
To have real communication, or ‘connectedness’ with our friends, children, or spouse, we need to establish a good rapport.
That happens by SEEING, LISTENING, and RESPONDING with them.
We express connectedness through EYE CONTACT, BODY LANGUAGE and KIND WORDS…
To truly understand what we hear another say, we need to THINK, FEEL, and SENSE what our instincts are saying at the same time!
Your brain hears the words, then PROCESSES the information using our thinking, feeling and instinctive centers to understand it.
For a good relationship to grow, think before you speak:
Is it loving? Is it kind? Is it helpful?
When you communicate, make an effort to combine your MIND, HEART and INSTINCTS to really connect with others. It’s a great ‘people skill’ that gets better with practice!
Kids and Parents need all the help they can get.