POSITIVE DISCIPLINE MEANS GUIDING A CHILD TO SEE THAT HE OR SHE CAN MAKE A VALUABLE CONTRIBUTION TO THE WORLD.
Radio Therapist, John Jolliffe once said,
“The way you feel about yourself is both your punishment and your reward. Your job is to become the kind of person YOU can love.”
When you feel Valuable and Needed, it makes a huge difference in what you can accomplish in life.
HOW TO MOTIVATE PEOPLE (KIDS OR OTHERS):
From the WEAKEST to the most powerful ways to motivate others:
FORCE: This is where you say “DO it or else” Works only short term, and has negative repercussions later. Makes people fear and dislike you.
|GUILT: This is where you attempt to make the person feel bad if they don’t do what you want. Again – it is only effective for a short time, and then makes people tire of you.|
|INCENTIVES: The Carrot at the end of the stick, “If you do this, I’ll do that.” Effective for a short time but needs variety or will lose its appeal.|
|LOVE: A person will go to the ends of the earth, without pay, for someone they love.|
HOW CAN YOU GET YOUR KIDS TO HELP?
You have to inspire them to WANT to help!
Once you have that, the rest is easy!
How do you do that?
Combining the Three ‘R’s’, of Relationship, Rules and Rewards gives you the best chance of motivating your child.
Relationship – Keep loving them. Nothing beats smiles, hugs and affirmation for encouraging a person to do better.
Rules and Rewards – Plan your strategy. Follow a system that will include incentives to action, whether a Chart, or reward for good behavior that grants special activities or privileges, to go along with a good relationship. Make it like a game, and it will be easier for everyone.
MOST of ALL – Be a GOOD EXAMPLE. Show you don’t mind ‘getting your hands dirty’ too. Your example will speak VOLUMES! If it’s a chore, get in there and act like it’s FUN. You may be pretending at first, but it WILL be fun if you’re doing it together. (Think of Mike Rowe from the show ‘Dirty Jobs’!)
READY OR NOT – YOU ARE THE LEADER!
Once you’ve shown them HOW to do a job the first time, then let them do it! Even if they don’t do it perfectly, praise efforts made. Be patient. It may take a while for them to get it right.
LOVE YOUR KIDS AS THOUGH YOU WON’T HAVE THEM TOMORROW, AND TEACH YOUR KIDS AS THOUGH THEY WON’T HAVE YOU TOMORROW!
LOVE TO YOU AND YOURS!
Kids and Parents need all the help they can get.