EDU Designs is a non profit organization whose mission is to produce and distribute multimedia materials for the education, motivation and character development of children.
neverendingcard THANK YOU for sharing your awesome talent, Maybelline!
And here’s a shorter video, just 35 seconds long!
I wanted to make one of these, too, but when I couldn’t find a template, I studied the video and made my own in Photoshop. You can print it out to make 4 cards on one 8 1/2 X11 page of card stock. Here’s the template:
Drag the image to your desktop (or go to this link if that doesn’t work:
The RED lines show where to CUT. The GREY DOTTED lines show where to FOLD.
Here are the steps I followed after printing out the page:
NOTE: Watch Maybelline Chow’s video carefully all the way to the end. Study how the same motion is repeated each time, so you can remember it.
1- Cut the page with scissors along the solid vertical and horizontal red lines to make four cards.
2- Carefully cut the 2 lines that look like a Red X in the center of the card. I used an exact-o knife and a straight edge, over a self-healing cutting matt. (WARNING: BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL. Using an Exact-o knife, or box knife, can be very dangerous if you are not accustomed to it. If you are a child, do not attempt this without adult supervision.)
3- Once the X is cut in the center of the card, SCORE only the GREY dotted lines to make them easier to bend.
4- Holding the card in the air, bend the top section towards you, allowing the pointy part under it to swing up behind it so it does NOT get bent too. Do this for each of the sides, as is shown in the pictures below.
Once you’ve gotten the creases in the right place, begin by drawing your first face in the OPEN position. Observe where Maybelline put the different parts of the face in the video, so they could be covered up by the next flaps! Experiment using light pencil to get them in the right places, then fold the next part down and keep adding sections of the next face you decide on. When you are happy with the different faces on each side, you can go over them with ink, markers, or any thing you like!
I love people! When I was a little kid I dreamed of having lots of children. And I wanted to change the world by bringing good people into it, one person at a time.
When I was twenty years old I wrote a song for my future children, imagining what I would say to them if they should ever make a mistake so bad they were afraid to come home. It took over 40 years but I finally got it recorded, thanks to the kindness of Ryen Slegr. My husband Jas and I then made it into this video! Enjoy.
That’s why I’ve created this blog. Now that my own kids are all grown up, I have more time to share practical tips for handling the challenges you may face too.
Leave an example your children will want to imitate and follow.
When people tried to get him upset, Ghandhi used a technique he called, “Passive Non-Cooperation”. He would stick to his position stubbornly, but in a peaceful, non violent manner.
Josh McDowell, pastor, teacher and writer said:
“Rules without Relationship lead to Rebellion”
You can keep a good relationship with your kids without letting them ‘be the boss’. How? Instruct them patiently that there are CONSEQUENCES to every action, good or bad. Kids will test us, but continue repeating what they need to do calmly, without giving in to bad behavior yourself.
KEEP THE GOAL IN MIND: The loving people you want them to be.
LOVE YOUR KIDS AS THOUGH YOU WON’T HAVE THEM TOMORROW, AND TEACH YOUR KIDS AS THOUGH THEY WON’T HAVE YOU TOMORROW!
“The way you feel about yourself is both your punishment and your reward. Your job is to become the kind of person YOU can love.”
When you feel Valuable and Needed, it makes a huge difference in what you can accomplish in life.
HOW TO MOTIVATE PEOPLE (KIDS OR OTHERS):
From the WEAKEST to the most powerful ways to motivate others:
FORCE: This is where you say “DO it or else” Works only short term, and has negative repercussions later. Makes people fear and dislike you.
GUILT: This is where you attempt to make the person feel bad if they don’t do what you want. Again – it is only effective for a short time, and then makes people tire of you.
INCENTIVES: The Carrot at the end of the stick, “If you do this, I’ll do that.” Effective for a short time but needs variety or will lose its appeal.
LOVE: A person will go to the ends of the earth, without pay, for someone they love.
HOW CAN YOU GET YOUR KIDS TO HELP?
You have to inspire them to WANT to help!
Once you have that, the rest is easy!
How do you do that?
Combining the Three ‘R’s’, of Relationship, Rules and Rewards gives you the best chance of motivating your child.
Relationship – Keep loving them. Nothing beats smiles, hugs and affirmation for encouraging a person to do better.
Rules and Rewards – Plan your strategy. Follow a system that will include incentives to action, whether a Chart, or reward for good behavior that grants special activities or privileges, to go along with a good relationship. Make it like a game, and it will be easier for everyone.
MOST of ALL – Be a GOOD EXAMPLE. Show you don’t mind ‘getting your hands dirty’ too. Your example will speak VOLUMES! If it’s a chore, get in there and act like it’s FUN. You may be pretending at first, but it WILL be fun if you’re doing it together. (Think of Mike Rowe from the show ‘Dirty Jobs’!)
READY OR NOT – YOU ARE THE LEADER!
Once you’ve shown themHOWto do a job the firsttime, then letthemdo it! Even if they don’t do it perfectly, praise efforts made. Be patient. It may take a while for them to get it right.
LOVE YOUR KIDS AS THOUGH YOU WON’T HAVE THEM TOMORROW, AND TEACH YOUR KIDS AS THOUGH THEY WON’T HAVE YOU TOMORROW!
“I’m the parent. I can do whatever I like while I order YOU around!”
When parents either: 1- walk around angry and complaining, or 2- drudgingly drag themselves through life like martyrs, it makes ‘being an adult’ look pretty miserable! Who would want to follow that example?
Not me! I decided long ago I would NEVER forget how to have fun!
Sometimes a little thing like FUN can steer kids in the right direction, making the right thing seem a better choice than the wrong.
While working at home with a babysitter watching the kids, my 4 year old daughter Annie came into my office with a sweet smile and asked if she could just sit there quietly for a little while. She was a good girl and I wanted to say, “Yes” – but my brain argued with my heart, thinking,
‘If I’m to be organized, I must follow rules and not let anything interrupt me.’
So, against my intuition, I put on a straight face and said,
“No honey – I have to work”,and sent her out.
She started crying hysterically as the babysitter took her out of the room.
I tried to rationalize that I wasn’t being heartless.
“I’m supposed to be working. I’m paying the babysitter. She should handle this!”
But I knew I had hurt Annie. I felt horrible all day, and so did she.
A few years later, the incident came up in conversation:
I did remember and was sad about it.I said,
“I’m so sorry honey. Would you like that hug NOW?”
And Annie said,“Nope. It expired!”
Heartsick, I thought, “What can I do, now?”
Had I hurt my daughter forever by that one ‘businesslike’ decision?
My daughter did eventually forgive me.
But what did it take?
TIME.
And love.
SOFTEN WITH LOVE
Did you ever cook oatmeal and not wash the pan right away?
When you come back later the oatmeal is dry and stuck like GLUE.
What do you do? Soak it in water for a while and it’ll soften up again.
Love, like water on dried oatmeal, softens the hardened heart.
Harder still, is admitting when you are mistaken.
Notice I didn’t use the word ‘wrong’?
DON’T USE THE WORD ‘WRONG’.
INSTEAD SAY, ‘MISTAKEN’.
‘Wrong’ holds too much shame and blame.
As a new parent, I was deathly afraid of being ‘WRONG’.
I decided not to make the same errors my parents had made.
And I didn’t. I made NEW ones.
I presumed parents must always be good examples, do the right thing, and know what to do in all circumstances (or pretend you know).
Boy, was I WRONG! (Oops! I mean, ‘mistaken’!)
LOL
Everyone makes mistakes, even with good intentions.
You can’t fault yourself for the wisdom you didn’t have at the time.
Mistakes can usually be worked through, unless we never apologize. To err is Human, to Forgive, Divine.
But don’t wait to say, “I’m sorry”. Clean up your mess when it’s ‘freshly dirty’, and it will be easier to clean up.
And even if you have made the mistake of waiting, soak the problem in love, be patient with yourself and your loved ones, and you’ll see things improve.
They won’t be able to resist forever! Like the old adage:
Question:How do you stop an argument?
Answer:Apologize
Hey! THAT’S wisdom that works!
So, be interruptible, my friends.
Sometimes our disappointments are God’s appointments (appointments to grow and learn)!
Get in on the bottom floor and stay with them all the way.
To simply lay down rules will not work.
As Josh McDowell said:
Rules without Relationship lead to Rebellion.
Kids need you. They know when a part of you is missing.
I like this epigram from Ashleigh Brilliant:
]
J. Krishnamurti wisely said:
“Action has meaning only in relationship, and without understanding relationship, action on any level will only breed conflict. The understanding of relationship is infinitely more important than the search for any plan of action.”
What makes the difference between a GOOD relationship and a bad one?
“Deprivation can lead to developmental delays, while hugs may reduce depression, improve heart health and trigger compassion”
Psychologists call the relationship needed for human development an attachment relationship.
To grow well, we need others to be attached to.
Ones who LOVE us.
Gabor Mate, MD, says:
“From an understanding of the child . . . and the heartfelt commitment parents bring to the task of child rearing…arise[s] the spontaneous and compassionate wisdom that is the source of successful parenting.” (From ‘Hold Onto Your Kids – Why parents need to matter more than peers, by Gordon Neufeld, PhD., and Gabor Maté, M.D.)
A child is aware of others NOTnoticing them. We all are, really. They may unconsciously wonder, “Why should I care about me?”
You may be the only one to answer that question – in the way you notice your children.
HOW do we notice them?
Is it with hopeful expectation of a positive result, or with dread and suspicion of something awful that they will become?
At the store the other day I saw a mom scowling at her child. A frown, piercing eyes and forehead furrowing, her face and body language seemed to scream hatred.
That kind of attention will only bring fear, and not cooperation and self-regulation.
ATTITUDE
How do you view your child?
I don’t think we realize how we appear most of the time.
If inwardly, we are not paying attention, they will be aware of it.
A mom was vacuuming the house with gloom on her face.
Noticing this, her little girl asked, “Are you happy, Mom?”
When her mom said, “Yes”, the girl’s response was, “Then why doesn’t your FACE say it?”
Projecting a positive attitude while hoping for the best will show on your face, your body language, and everything you do.
If you can master the art of these two things, RELATIONSHIP and ATTITUDE, you will make your child feel important enough to pay attention to developing themselves, too.
“Make the most of yourself. For that is all there is of you.”~ Emerson.
Life can either make you Bitter or Better. From a crucible of unimaginable suffering came a survivor –Antwone Fisher*, The man the movie of the same name was made about, directed by and starring Denzel Washington.
I had the pleasure of meeting Antwone in 2010 at Vroman’s, at the book signing for: “A Boy Should Know How To Tie A Tie (and other Lessons for Succeeding in Life)”
What a gift he shares in it: The advice he never got from the dad he never had. Brimming with insight, it shows his suffering was not in vain.
He held a raffle for a gorgeous tie too. Antwone reached in and picked out the winning ticket – and as fate would have it, a young student, Marcus, got it! I’m so glad he won – he was so happy!
Have you heard about Antwone Fisher? Have you seen the movie?
If not, this one is a MUST. Rent it at the library! Better yet – BUY it – you’ll be glad you did! (Note: It’s NOT for younger kids. Rated PG 13 for violence, language and involving child abuse)
By the way – Preventing child abuse starts with everyone. We are all dominos that affect those around us. GoMommyGO has tools to help parents learn to manage their kids’ behavior from a proactive standpoint. Visit for free behavior charts that REALLY WORK!
Great teachers speak in parables. Stories can change the character of the people who hear them – for the better. That’s what our non profit, EDU DESIGNS aims for in our media for children. Thanks for your support of what we do.
I heard on the the news one day that a young boy in Japan had committed suicide after he’d made a mistake he thought would embarrass his family and was trying to ‘save face’.
I felt so sad to think he believed he had no other choice. I cried for that little boy and his family that night.
As I drifted off to sleep thinking of him, this little story came to me:
Welcome to the Land of “I’M SORRY” by Ruth Elliott
Once there was a boy whose teacher said:
“Boy – Always do right, and Never do Wrong. Then you will be perfect.”
So the boy went out to always do right.
But one day he did something wrong.
He was so sad, he thought his life was ruined forever.
“There’s nothing left to do but jump down a hole and die.”
He was about to jump, when someone came along and said,
“STOP! All is not lost! You can still have a good life. But you have to go through these two gates first, called:
“I’M SORRY” and “I’LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME“
So the boy left the hole behind, and went through the gates.
When he got to the other side he was shocked to see his teacher there!
The boy asked him,
“You’re here, TOO?YOU had to say sorry? What did YOU do that was wrong?”
And the teacher answered him,
“I told you you could be perfect and never do wrong – but that was impossible to do. That was my mistake. I am sorry.”
You set up rules for good behavior, and then, BANG!
All of a sudden you’re acting the way you don’t want the kids to act.
But how are we supposed to deal with that?
We need to be in charge of us first.
Here are 9 tips to help:
TIP # 1 –OBSERVE YOURSELF
It’s good to pay attention to others, but take a look at you. What is happening inside you? The better you are at spotting your own body’s signals, the better you will get at knowing another person’s needs.
Are YOU hungry? Tired? Overloaded? Dehydrated? Have you been ignoring your inner voice? Or heard it and didn’t know what to do about it?
TIP # 2 –OBSERVE OTHERS
Everyone needs the same things as you do in tip #1.
Stop and think of their needs, and what was causing their behavior.
Maybe THEY are hungry, tired, dehydrated, etc.
TIP # 3 –KEEP ANGER DOWN. DON’T LET YOURSELF GET TIRED
If I ask myself, “Why am I angry?”, nine times out of ten it is because more is needed of me than I can fulfill. My brain doesn’t work well when I’m tired!
When someone is worn out they can just snap. And that anger gives a temporary boost of energy.However, anger always backfires and raises cortisol levels which in the long term can drain us further, causing depression, weight gain and most of all – it makes problems with others.
TIP # 4 –KEEP YOUR ENERGY UP (By Winding DOWN!)
SLEEP:Rest to REFILL so you’ll have more to give.
MEDITATE: Take at least 10 minutes to center yourself before you jump into the day, and remember your highest intentions.
EXERCISE: Move to get rolling. An object in motion tends to stay in motion.
NUTRITION:What you put in WILL control how much energy you have to putout.
Stay regular – Constipation is the thief of health.
Eat lots of fruits and veggies and avoid soda and refined carbohydrates. (After the initial rush, SUGAR will always make you TIRED!)
THANKFULNESS:Studies have shown that gratitude makes us happier and healthier. Thinking of what’s good in life boosts our own mood and curbs depression. A SMILE increases your ‘Face Value’!
TIP # 5 –STAY IN BALANCE
Moderation in all things: TV, Work, Eating, Exercise, Fun.
Your kids will not die if they are not the best looking, or smartest kids in the world.
Don’t expect to get everything done. Two weeks after you are gone from this world your house will be dirty again – and all by itself! Plan to do LESS and in the end you will get MORE. More peace, more rest, more happiness.
TIP #6 – THINK AHEAD- (But don’t expect to get it all done in one day)
We used to have a saying in the Animation Industry, that all you need to make a good picture was: 1- A GOOD IDEA, and 2- NOT QUITE ENOUGH TIME! Don’t be surprised that things takes longer than you expect.
Think ahead about what your family will need in ADVANCE, so you won’t be running by the seat of your pants.
TIP #7 – HAVE SOME FUN
Allow time for fun.
The dishes can wait.
Happiness is important too!
Don’t expect the kids to be adults – yet.
TIP #8 – DON’T BE AFRAID TO APOLOGIZE
You had a moment. You blew it. Don’t try to rationalize or blame. Just admit it. You’re only human. NOBODY IS PERFECT. Your kids already know it! Seek the solution to the stress you were under and get back in charge.
TIP #9 – LIVE AND LET LIVE
Give yourself and others a little space to breathe. Like the margins that surround text on a page, a little space makes everything easier.
Allow your kids to discover who they are too, and you may all like each other a lot more.
My daughter Lisa actually said this to me one day:
Paying attention to other people all the time isn’t easy.
Attention requires ENERGY.
I heard about a little girl who tried to talk with her mom while her mom was racing around doing chores.Her mom emitted an occasional“Uh huh…”, when suddenly the girl cried out,
“MOMMY! You’re notLISTENING!”.
Continuing her work, her mom said,
“I am listening, Honey.”
The little girl protested further:
“But you’re not listening with your EYES!”
Paying loving attentionmeans we are present and aware with our whole being: Mind, Heart, and Body. And that’s a skill that takes time to learn.
Practicing loving attention means:
Eye Contact
Listening
Body Language (including Touch. Read how HUGS HEAL…)
Being a parent has been called the hardest path to walk in this world.
You stumble and fall, and hurt yourself and others without meaning to.
When my kids were little, there were times I was so worn out by the end of a 40 hour week, all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and escape from the world. I was super burdened with no where to run, no where to hide and no way to change my schedule or agenda.I could only change my thoughts.
Learning to think about things differently – and laughing at myself – kept me from freaking out. I drew this autobiographical cartoon after weeks of only 4 hours of sleep a night.
Just like practicing paying attention, practicing patience (with ourselves AND others) is a skill we need to learn.
Do we scold toddlers for falling down as they learn to walk?
Of course not. We encourage them to pick themselves up and keep trying.
The mistakes we make as parents can be horrendous and cruel at times, because the responsibilities are huge and the pressures are great.
The fact is, we need to forgive ourselvesso we can go back out there and keep trying to improve. We can recover, even while we continue going two steps forward and one step back.
How?
1 – Keep trying to do the right thing, though we fail.
2 – Keep merciful and forgiving (to ourselves, too).
3 – Be humble (only God is perfect).
My mom used to say, “As long as there’s LIFE, there’s HOPE.”
“The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.”
The things a mother does will affect her child for life, and ultimately the world.
As I said in my last article, You Can’t Spoil a Baby, infants need to be loved and treated with what Carl Rogers calls “Unconditional Positive Regard”. [1]
I think there’s a little baby in all of us that needs that kind of love.
St. Augustine once wrote of ideal love:
“To love each person as though you had love for them alone, and to love all, as though all were one.”
Imagine how the world would be if we each had that kind of regard for one another. The world would be a better place – or if mother’s really did ‘rule’ the world from the top down. But we’re too busy – handling things from the ‘bottom’ up!
Mohandas Gandhi said,
“If we are to reach real peace in this world… we shall have to begin with children.”
Here are some of my favorite quotes about mothers:
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ Author Unknown
“If people had to pay for what Mothers do, the world would be bankrupt!” ~ David Elliott, father of seven
“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”
~ Honoré de Balzac
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” ~ Tenneva Jordan
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” ~ Rajneesh
“A mother understands what a child does not say.” ~ Jewish Proverb
“There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” ~ Chinese Proverb
“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” ~ Sophia Loren
“I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.” ~ Unknown
Before you get worried wondering, the quick answer is:
“NO”. You CAN’T spoil a baby.
There are many reasons.
Babiesneed consistent Loving Attention. Not only for physical survival but for the emotional security and intellectual development to build a strong foundation for the rest of their lives.
BEING A BABY CAN BE VERY STRESSFUL
I remember. Here’s one of my memories of infancy at around a month old:
In a dimly lit room, lying on my stomach in my crib, I awoke to sounds of people laughing in the other room. I wanted to go out and enjoy the fun, but I couldn’t get up. Just lifting my head took a huge effort, so I called out for someone to come and get me. Sadly, no one heard me. I cried out over and over, to no avail until I became so exhausted I fell asleep again. I awoke later as my Mama was coming into the room.She picked me up and smiled. I was exhilarated and thought, ‘Finally! Now I’ll get to see all the people and find out what made them laugh!’But when we got to the other room all the people were gone! I was disappointed.Funny how a baby can be aware of more than we realize!
Remembering how it felt to be a baby made it easier to identify with my children’s needs when I became a mother. Especially their need to be seen, heard and known.
I found scientific affirmation of my impressions from Dr. Gabor Mate. He calls the instinctive hunger to be SEEN, HEARD and KNOWN the need for ‘Attunement’.
If we are ‘Attuned to’as infants, we will have greater inner security, an all-important anchor to keep us steady through hard times, and an increased ability to comfort others. Attunement can prevent ADHD in children as well as Anxiety in adults.[1]
Carl Rogers calls it, “Unconditional positive regard”, wanting the best for our offspring from the deepest part of ourselves.
That kind of love can never ‘spoil’ anyone.
The joy on this baby’s face demonstrates the happiness and emotional security kids can experience when they have good communication and feel ‘attuned to’ by their moms. (Thank you to my friend Candi Alvarez Matz for allowing me to share this lovely photo.)
Dr. Claudia M. Gold, best known for her work promoting children’s mental health, writes, “the science of early childhood tells us that the brain grows in relationships.“
“When a parent gazes into her baby’s eyes, she literally promotes the growth of her baby’s brain, helping it to be wired for a secure sense of self…” [2]
“The brain makes millions of synaptic connections every minute. It is in infancy that the parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation have the most rapid development.” [3]
Whoever is taking care of the baby should give that baby everything it needs. In others words, feel free to ‘spoil’ your baby.
When it feels loved and wanted, given “Unconditional Positive Regard”, the person that emerges from that child will succeed in relationships through all of it’s life.
And long before, you, the caregiver, might even find yourself smiling like the mom in the picture above.
One of my kids said one day, “Mom, how come you never yell at the baby?”
Before I could answer, my oldest girl piped in, “That’s easy. When babies are little you need to be nice to them, so when you yell at them when they’re older, they know you still love them!”
At first I laughed, and then it made me stop and think. Had I been yelling, then?
I MOONLIGHT –AS A MOM
All I ever dreamed about was being a mom, changing the world one kid at a time through love and understanding.But after the first two kids, financial pressure forced me out to earn a living.I eventually found a job in animation.
It was fun drawing Scooby Doo and the Smurfs. However, my new career was taking a huge chunk of time away from my relationship with the kids and my duties at home. I cried every day I had to leave them at my mother-in-law’s. I was giving my ‘all’ to someone else’s celluloid dreams, while my originalaspirations of child-rearing got squeezed into a corner.
SHOVELING MUD UPHILL
By the time I was a mother of four, just getting out the door in the morning was a big challenge. But after a full day’s work at the office, I’d come home to the other full-time job of meeting the children’s needs. Fatigue gave way to dread as the never-ending cycle of mealtimes, dishes and laundry piled up before me.
“How do OTHER mothers DO it?”, I agonized.
DON’T DO THIS!
[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”380px” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” rounded_corners=”false” ][/dropshadowbox]My mind raced down the ever looming to-do list in my head. I became a task oriented robot, numb to my feelings, and everyone else’s. But I could only hold back the pressure for so long.
One day I finally exploded at the kids and then ran into the bathroom, horrified at myself, “I USED to be such a NICE person!”
In my desperation, I knew I had to figure out a way to organize myself.
Afterwards, I apologized to the kids. “You don’t like it when mommy yells, do you?”They all shook their heads.
“I don’t like it either. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to stop yelling. But I’m gonna need a little help from you guys.”
GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW
My husband, the kids, and I had our first family meeting that night. We brainstormed, we discussed our goals, what we all wanted as a family (peace, no yelling, sharing chores, etc) and how we should be treating each other. We agreed on a set of rules for good behavior.
This became our family ‘Constitution’, which was taped to the wall for all to see. Our Constitutionnot only expressed the crucial needs we had as parents, but it included important concerns the kids themselves came up with. Chores were one thing. Gripes that needed to be aired were another. “Don’t stick your tongue out at people”; “Don’t kick each other”; etc, were suggested by the kids themselves.
We continued adding to and refining our constitution with each weekly meeting. As time went by, the additions taped to the wall were becoming too numerous. We eventually boiled good behavior down to one phrase, “TREAT OTHER PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”. This turns out to be a thought even young children can appreciate.
When it came to chores, we wrote them all down on pieces of paper and put them in a hat. We took turns drawing them out one at a time (even me) till all the chores were handed out. If a child got a chore that was too hard for him, we exchanged it with someone else’s, until each person had a chore or two they could actually handle.
For instance: 4 year old Mike was too little to vacuum, but he was able to pick up around the house. Johnny, who was 6, could then do the vacuuming.
I created a chart for each child showing which task they had, with spaces to mark when it was completed. It too was taped to the wall. Time proved that some fine tuning was needed. We’d assess our progress at our weekly meetings, and switch or add chores as needed. And the charts would be updated.
As an incentive, at the end of the week we would all go to the 99 cent store or the Dollar Tree and they’d each get to pick out ONE thing. Any thing they wanted! No one would get ‘paid’ unless they had done their ‘jobs’. For me this method was enormously helpful. It was always necessary to be the CEO, but I was now able to stay cool, calm and collected and simply remind each kid of what they had agreed to do.
I’d say “Oh, I see you left your shoes on the floor. You want your treat this weekend, right? Go put them away so I can give you your good mark!” Then I’d smile. Reminding them was enough. (At least until they became teenagers.) 😉
NO YELLING NEEDED
The reason I invented the Good Behavior Charts on GoMommyGO® in the first place was to keep myself under control, along with the kids. It became a guideline to follow, a system that SHOWED the kids what I needed from them in a way THEY could understand and remember.They learned what it was to feel needed and important, while I got the help I needed so I could pay attention to what I really wanted: A good relationship with the kids.
GET YOUR OWN PLAN:
After the kids grew up I put my charts on the web so every parent can use them too.
Here’s how to get the charts you can customize from 90 different images. My gift to you.
Many friends have asked me over the years, “HOW DO YOU DO THAT?”
So I finally decided to put this up.
Now I just send them the link!
To understand the pattern even better, here’s a little illustration (download pdf here) to see it written out. Just pretend the lines are the strings (seen from above), and the dots show where to pluck. The letters at the bottom show which finger does the plucking, and the dotted lines show the beats (One and Two and Three and Four).
We’ve been adding Music to enrich our Art Presentations.
There's nothing like Music to brighten your day and activate brain cells.
At a recent Fair at Cobb School Jas and Ruth Hilsdon performed for 3 hours. The joy and energy from sharing music with the kids was infectious. Here's a VERY short video from that day.
A BIG THANK YOU to Mark and Jas Hilsdon for investing their talents in children.
BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE:
Mark and Jas Hilsdon have a special place in their hearts for kids with Special Needs.
Why?
Their sister, Diane, was born with a hole in her heart and Down Syndrome. The doctor's told their mom and dad she wouldn't survive, so just "leave her at the hospital and we'll take care of it".
But their parents refused, and brought her home, and she lived to be 53!
Diane LOVED music, too.
Jas Hilsdon wrote a song for her you can hear at this link
You can even hear a tiny bit of her singing in the very beginning of the song!
THANKS to ERIC ANSAH, the director, and others from the Reward Foundation Ghana, this Non Profit Org is helping kids expand their opportunities through Art, Music, and other cultural and educational activities in Ghana.
EDU DESIGNS founder, Ruth Elliott, donated the use of her Art Textbook, SEE WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING AT to help kids! They need your help, too! Contact Eric at: info@rewardfoundationghana.org
When interviewing the founder of EDU DESIGNS recently, I learned a lot. Here’s a transcript of what Ruth Elliott said about her early childhood:
“Both my parents families were from NY. After moving to Texas, my mom would tell us stories about how valiantly our ancestors opposed slavery, among them Harriet Beecher Stowe and Henry Ward Beecher, and how bad she believed segregation was.
Harriet’s brother, Henry Ward Beecher, famous for his preaching, secretly aided the fight against slavery by sending rifles to the South in pine boxes marked “BEECHER’S BIBLES”.
Mrs. Stowe was a friend of Hattie, the kindly wife of the plantation owner that Hattiesburg, Mississippi was named after. Hattie had many slaves. However, she held a reputation of being nicer to them than most slaveowners. What could Harriet, a sworn abolitionist, and Hattie, a veteran slave owner, have in common? And could they possibly have been in cahoots?
It was later revealed that Hattie’s home concealed hidden rooms, leading people to suspect her home may have been a stop along the Underground Railroad that carried runaway slaves to freedom in the North.
Growing up in Texas, my sisters and I were so stirred by stories like these, stories of courage in the face of injustice, stories of determination, that we learned to protest unfair treatment wherever we found it. We’d make friends with the kids from ‘Colored’ town, even though our white neighbors sternly warned us not to. I remember one day sitting in a packed bus with standing room only. A pregnant black lady came on board, and none of the white folks would give her a seat, so I gave her mine, despite the sneering looks from the white folks near me. I was a kid. So, they let me live…”
This is a FREE public service from EDU DESIGNS, the non profit that creates media for children’s Character Development.
Take advantage of it!
It worked with MY kids!
Ruth Elliott-Hilsdon
Founder of EDU DESIGNS
Creator: GoMommyGO®
EDU DESIGNS is BUILDING BRAINS AND HEARTS
THROUGH THE ARTS
Since we are an all volunteer organization, we get no salary. 100% of your donation is Tax Deductible, and is used to create media for children’s character. Please help! When you do, you’ll receive a free download of Ruth’s Art Textbook for Kids!